If you are desperately trying to free yourself of people pleasing or you’re simply striving to live a healthier life— it’s essential to understand why God doesn’t want us to be pushovers and learn how to set healthy boundaries.
Boundaries is one of the many words that have been hijacked from the psychological sphere and misused to reinforce some of our bad behaviors. However, boundaries are not about building walls or pushing people away; they’re about understanding and asserting your own limits in a way that respects both yourself and others. As women, setting boundaries is not only a form of self-care but also a way to honor God’s intention for our lives. It’s about being assertive while staying loving and respectful.
Here are a few biblical examples of healthy boundaries and most importantly, proof that God never wanted you to be a pushover.
Moses and Pharaoh
One of the most powerful examples of maintaining boundaries is found in the story of Moses and Pharaoh. Despite Pharaoh’s anger and resistance, Moses consistently upheld God’s command to let the Israelites go. Exodus 7-12 recounts how Moses, empowered by God, maintained his stance against Pharaoh’s demands, demonstrating that it’s crucial to hold firm to what is right, even when it’s uncomfortable or contentious.
Daniel in Babylon
In the Book of Daniel, we see another profound example. Daniel and his friends were taken to Babylon and faced immense pressure to conform to the king’s ways. However, Daniel chose not to defile himself with the royal food and wine (Daniel 1:8). His decision to set boundaries in this area showed his commitment to God’s laws and served as a testament to his faith, even though it made him stand out.
Jesus and the Pharisees
Jesus often set boundaries with the Pharisees. They were frequently trying to trap Him or undermine His mission, but Jesus responded firmly and sometimes harshly to protect His ministry and the truth of God’s message (Matthew 23). His responses were not about being disrespectful but about maintaining the integrity of His mission and His identity as the Son of God.
Setting boundaries in our own lives can be challenging, but it's essential for our spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being. Here are a few tips for incorporating these lessons into your life:
Prayerful Reflection
Before setting boundaries, pray for guidance. Ask God to help you understand where you need to stand firm and how to do it with love and grace.
Communicate Clearly
Be clear and direct about your boundaries. This doesn’t mean being confrontational, but it does mean being honest and straightforward.
Stay True to Your Values
Like Moses and Daniel, stand firm in your beliefs and values. Your faith should guide your actions and decisions, even when it’s challenging.
Respond with Grace
Boundaries can sometimes lead to conflict or discomfort. Respond with grace and understanding, keeping in mind that maintaining your boundaries is not about hurting others but about respecting yourself.
Remember, setting boundaries isn’t about being rigid or inflexible; it’s about protecting your well-being and living in alignment with your values. By embracing this approach, you’ll find yourself growing stronger in your faith and more confident in your daily interactions.
Love and Blessings,
Aiah O.
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